I can't believe it's already been a month since Piper entered my life. Time has flown by and the holidays has only seemed to speed time up:( I just want things to slow down. I look at the clock each day and get sad when the day passes so quickly. Piper is still being an amazing baby but we had our first really tough night the other night. I'm pretty sure she just had a bad reaction to something I ate for dinner (I think the refried beans). Piper ate and then proceeded to cry and cry and cry for a good 3 hours. She seemed like she was in so much pain and I'm sure she was just gassy but it was awful. I mean brought me to tears because I couldn't handle it awful. It was horrible to see my baby in so much discomfort/pain and have no way to console her and take the pain away. J's mom was there and took Piper some to try to calm her down but it was almost worse for me to hear her screaming and not be holding her and trying to comfort her. I had to stop myself from taking Piper back a couple of times and at one point I couldn't take it anymore and just took her back. She eventually calmed down and was fine the next morning/day but it was AWFUL. J and I joked that we got a taste of what a "normal" baby is like. It was rough but I know Piper is fine and won't be scarred for life. I on the other hand, might be:P
Since Piper is a month old tomorrow I want to write down a few things just to remember where she is right now. She's changing so much each day and week so I want to make sure I have the milestones written down.
First, Piper you are the most content sweet baby girl ever. You cry when you need something but you are generally very easily consolable.
You're my "little barracuda" when you eat. You give the cutest flirty look when I'm laying you down and getting us both situated for breastfeeding and you just look at me with these flirty "give me the boob!" eyes. It's adorable and so innocent. You don't do it as much anymore but for the first 2 weeks you would ALWAYS turn your head the wrong direction to start eating. You'd have your mouth wide open and be rooting the wrong way:P I'd have to guide your mouth over to the other side and when you finally realized where the boob was you get this frenzied "barracuda" response. Its so cute! You still do the barracuda thing but you're a little better with knowing which way to look now:P The other day, after burping you I wanted to see if you were still hungry so I put my pinky near your mouth and you went from this adorable baby looking around into "attack" mode and latched onto my finger so fast! At least I knew you were hungry!
You have the sweetest light sleeping faces ever! I've taken so many videos of you when you are just falling asleep because you coo and sigh and make every facial expression possible. You peek to see if I'm still holding you and then shut your eyes tight like you just got caught doing something you weren't supposed to. You get the biggest, gummiest grins when you're like this and I get so excited when I see them. You get angry faces and the sweetest saddest pout too. J and I think you're just practicing all the facial expressions you're going to use on us later.
Sometimes you wake up from a deep sleep just wailing! It is always a shock and it makes me so sad. I don't know if you're having a bad dream or what but I just hate it. I want you to be a happy baby!
Your hair is quite the talk of the town. Everyone in the hospital knew who you were because of your hair and strangers always comment on how much hair you have. So far it doesn't seem like it's going to fall out and I just hope that stays true. I love it! Unfortunately for you, you got daddy's cowlicks... your hairline goes straight up so bangs are going to be impossible and I already dread figuring out hairstyles for you. Right now you're ADORABLE but I know you're going to have a few things to say to daddy at some point about it. Headbands are probably a best bet... or a pixie cut... which is cute on you right now!
You've started smiling in response to things. Those are the best smiles and while they are still few and far between, you're doing it more and more. You're also doing better with focusing and tracking things. You look at me when I talk to you now and will follow me around the room sometimes.
Your favorite thing to do is lay on your changing pad and kick and flail your arms around. You can be screaming your head off and as soon I lay you on your changing pad you calm down and just look all over the room. It's adorable.
You love bath time. You only cry when you get chilly but otherwise you love it. You just look around and smile. Even when I'm washing your hair and water sometimes runs down your face... thankfully you don't seem to mind having water on your face... unlike daddy:P
You certainly don't have a schedule at this point but for the past few days you've been sleeping from 11pmish to 6amish. I'm hoping this becomes your routine because it is amazing but I know that might be wishful thinking. You make many other mommies jealous of how well and how long you sleep.
You are the LOUDEST baby ever! You're always making noise and I love it. When you eat you grunt and sigh and gulp and slurp and it's hilarious. When you sleep you coo and sigh and always let me know you're ok. I am happy we have a video monitor but most of the time I don't even need the video part because I can tell you're sleeping by the noises you're making. When you're just hanging out you make noises too.
You don't play with much these days but you like your bouncer, the mamaroo and the activity play mat. The bouncer is more hit or miss but you're so good sitting in it when I'm showering or eating/making dinner and you're awake. The activity mat is fun for you but you're happy just laying on a blanket on the floor so it's probably going to be more exciting for you when you get older. You love it when I sing or hum to you. You LOVE your daddy! He can calm you down when no one else can and you love to snuggle and sleep on his chest. You smile when you see him and he is so in love with you!
You are amazing and have changed our lives in so many ways. It's hard to imagine life without you and I love spending every minute with you. You just experienced your first thanksgiving and you slept through the entire thing. The next day you wouldn't sleep at all.
I love you baby girl:) Happy 1 month!
Monday, November 28, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
My amazing daughter...
I'm going to be doing a lot of bragging in this post so be warned... I can't help it though:)
First of all... my recovery from my c-section has been awesome. I was off all pain meds as of the day after the surgery and I haven't needed anything since. I didn't even have a prescription written for the meds when I was sent home from the hospital since I was feeling that good, which shocked the nurses at the hospital. Thankfully, I haven't regretted that decision. The incision has healed so nicely and while I'll have a scar there, its a bikini line incision and it's not like anyone will see it. It was never gross or oozy or anything like that either which was nice. The staples were kind of off putting but they were removed 2 days after leaving the hospital and even that wasn't painful. Some days were worse than other pain wise but usually that was because I was pushing myself too much. I'd say that by 2 weeks out almost all pain was gone. Also, the bleeding has mostly stopped as well. I was not looking forward to weeks and weeks of heavy bleeding but as of a week ago I'm down to just a liner (sorry for the TMI). All in all, I've had an awesome c-section recovery experience.
Secondly, I'm down to my pre-pregnancy weight already! I lost about 10 lbs when I went to have my staples removed which was highly discouraging. However, by that weekend and 2 weeks post delivery, I had lost all 35lbs I'd gained during my pregnancy. I know a ton of it was water weight but it still feels amazing to have that all gone. I've never been so happy to see the veins in my feet before! Because I've lost all the weight, I fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans too! They're still a little snug initially and the fit a little differently than before (thanks to my jello tummy:P) but they fit! My shirts are a different story. For the most part I'm too self-conscious about how tight fitting my shirts seem to be at the moment but I have a few that fit. Most of my maternity clothes are way too big and even the "small" jeans fall off me so I'm kind of in an awkward stage clothes wise. I'm hoping I'll continue to lose some weight since I had gained a good 15lbs during all the treatment cycles. I'd love to lose at least that 15 but I'm happy with how I look now. It's amazing what a giant pregnant belly can do to put your weight/size into perspective. I hated how I looked before I got pregnant but now I'm like "whoa, so skinny!:P So that's one big hurray for me! And completely unexpected. I had a plan and timeline of when to start back with weight watchers and exercise (both of which I still might do- definitely the exercise though). I thought it would take a good year to lose all the weight.
Lastly, my baby is AMAZING. She seriously is the easiest, most content baby ever. I'm praying that by writing all this down I don't jinx myself but she is wonderful. I'm sure that a lot of it has to do with her size. I was kind of sad that I wouldn't have a "tiny" (7lbish) baby to take care of, especially when her newborn clothes didn't fit because of her size at birth but now I wouldn't have it any other way. Breastfeeding has gone extremely well. It took a good 2 weeks for us to figure it out together and for it to not hurt or not cause bleeding/cracked nipples but now it rarely hurts and when it does its because she's my "little barracuda" and she latches and unlatches all the time. She was back up to her birth weight and surpassed it by .5oz at her pediatrician appt at 1 week old. Needless to say, all my fears about having no supply or her not latching well or whatever have been erased. Thank you lord!
She sleeps for long stretches at night and has even slept through the night once already! She is by no means on any type of schedule but I'm usually only up to feed her once or twice a night (usually around 1a and 4a). For the most part she eats and falls right back to sleep too. Some nights I"m up longer than others with feeding her but usually it's around 45 minutes total, which includes a diaper change. For a few days she was up from 1-3am which was hard but it's nothing compared to what other mothers face with feedings every 2 hours or more. Again, I'm sure it's due to her size and I'm thankful that the pediatrician told me NOT to wake her up to feed. She's obviously gaining weight appropriately so she told me that it wasn't necessary and to sleep when she sleeps! So yay for not being sleep deprived most days.
She is SO content and so alert! Many days she'll spend hours awake and she is just content to look around and kick and flail her arms. She's fine if I put her in her bouncer (most of the time) and she loves when I just lay her on her back in bed or on her changing table to look around and kick away. She smiles and has the biggest blue eyes:) She cries when she needs something or doesn't like the position that she's in but she's easily consolable. It's also so nice to have a baby that doesn't have to be held 24/7. Many days that's all I want to do but to be able to take a shower and not have to rush through it is awesome, to eat breakfast/lunch and dinner with out a baby in my arms is completely unexpected and just to have her content being next to me and not on me is great:) She doesn't cry during diaper changes (in fact I think she enjoys them because she calms down when she's crying and I lay her down to change her diaper). She loves the bath. She only cries if she gets too cold, otherwise she's just looking around and enjoying it:) Another thing that is so nice about her is that I can put her down awake and she'll lay there content until she falls asleep (98% of the time). I feel bad doing that sometimes because she'll lay there for a good 20 minutes before dozing off but it's awesome not to have to rock her to sleep and worry that the second I put her down she'll wake up and start crying. Usually if I put her down asleep (like right after I feed her) she'll wake up within about 5 minutes. She'll look around and make some noises... and usually try to break out of her swaddle... but she'll fall asleep on her own and without me having to hold her again or rock her anymore. Again, I feel bad sometimes but I don't want to create that habit so I just go with it for now.
She is adorable! I know every mother thinks their kid is the cutest in the world and I'm no different but she is just so cute and has the most adorable facial expressions. She already has a "classic Piper" look (hard to explain) but I could just stare at her all day.
I LOVE being a mother and it was absolutely worth the 2ish years of trying, every single shot, pill, follie check and every single month of pain and disappointment. I'm so in love with this girl and it is amazing how much my world has changed having her in it.
First of all... my recovery from my c-section has been awesome. I was off all pain meds as of the day after the surgery and I haven't needed anything since. I didn't even have a prescription written for the meds when I was sent home from the hospital since I was feeling that good, which shocked the nurses at the hospital. Thankfully, I haven't regretted that decision. The incision has healed so nicely and while I'll have a scar there, its a bikini line incision and it's not like anyone will see it. It was never gross or oozy or anything like that either which was nice. The staples were kind of off putting but they were removed 2 days after leaving the hospital and even that wasn't painful. Some days were worse than other pain wise but usually that was because I was pushing myself too much. I'd say that by 2 weeks out almost all pain was gone. Also, the bleeding has mostly stopped as well. I was not looking forward to weeks and weeks of heavy bleeding but as of a week ago I'm down to just a liner (sorry for the TMI). All in all, I've had an awesome c-section recovery experience.
Secondly, I'm down to my pre-pregnancy weight already! I lost about 10 lbs when I went to have my staples removed which was highly discouraging. However, by that weekend and 2 weeks post delivery, I had lost all 35lbs I'd gained during my pregnancy. I know a ton of it was water weight but it still feels amazing to have that all gone. I've never been so happy to see the veins in my feet before! Because I've lost all the weight, I fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans too! They're still a little snug initially and the fit a little differently than before (thanks to my jello tummy:P) but they fit! My shirts are a different story. For the most part I'm too self-conscious about how tight fitting my shirts seem to be at the moment but I have a few that fit. Most of my maternity clothes are way too big and even the "small" jeans fall off me so I'm kind of in an awkward stage clothes wise. I'm hoping I'll continue to lose some weight since I had gained a good 15lbs during all the treatment cycles. I'd love to lose at least that 15 but I'm happy with how I look now. It's amazing what a giant pregnant belly can do to put your weight/size into perspective. I hated how I looked before I got pregnant but now I'm like "whoa, so skinny!:P So that's one big hurray for me! And completely unexpected. I had a plan and timeline of when to start back with weight watchers and exercise (both of which I still might do- definitely the exercise though). I thought it would take a good year to lose all the weight.
Lastly, my baby is AMAZING. She seriously is the easiest, most content baby ever. I'm praying that by writing all this down I don't jinx myself but she is wonderful. I'm sure that a lot of it has to do with her size. I was kind of sad that I wouldn't have a "tiny" (7lbish) baby to take care of, especially when her newborn clothes didn't fit because of her size at birth but now I wouldn't have it any other way. Breastfeeding has gone extremely well. It took a good 2 weeks for us to figure it out together and for it to not hurt or not cause bleeding/cracked nipples but now it rarely hurts and when it does its because she's my "little barracuda" and she latches and unlatches all the time. She was back up to her birth weight and surpassed it by .5oz at her pediatrician appt at 1 week old. Needless to say, all my fears about having no supply or her not latching well or whatever have been erased. Thank you lord!
She sleeps for long stretches at night and has even slept through the night once already! She is by no means on any type of schedule but I'm usually only up to feed her once or twice a night (usually around 1a and 4a). For the most part she eats and falls right back to sleep too. Some nights I"m up longer than others with feeding her but usually it's around 45 minutes total, which includes a diaper change. For a few days she was up from 1-3am which was hard but it's nothing compared to what other mothers face with feedings every 2 hours or more. Again, I'm sure it's due to her size and I'm thankful that the pediatrician told me NOT to wake her up to feed. She's obviously gaining weight appropriately so she told me that it wasn't necessary and to sleep when she sleeps! So yay for not being sleep deprived most days.
She is SO content and so alert! Many days she'll spend hours awake and she is just content to look around and kick and flail her arms. She's fine if I put her in her bouncer (most of the time) and she loves when I just lay her on her back in bed or on her changing table to look around and kick away. She smiles and has the biggest blue eyes:) She cries when she needs something or doesn't like the position that she's in but she's easily consolable. It's also so nice to have a baby that doesn't have to be held 24/7. Many days that's all I want to do but to be able to take a shower and not have to rush through it is awesome, to eat breakfast/lunch and dinner with out a baby in my arms is completely unexpected and just to have her content being next to me and not on me is great:) She doesn't cry during diaper changes (in fact I think she enjoys them because she calms down when she's crying and I lay her down to change her diaper). She loves the bath. She only cries if she gets too cold, otherwise she's just looking around and enjoying it:) Another thing that is so nice about her is that I can put her down awake and she'll lay there content until she falls asleep (98% of the time). I feel bad doing that sometimes because she'll lay there for a good 20 minutes before dozing off but it's awesome not to have to rock her to sleep and worry that the second I put her down she'll wake up and start crying. Usually if I put her down asleep (like right after I feed her) she'll wake up within about 5 minutes. She'll look around and make some noises... and usually try to break out of her swaddle... but she'll fall asleep on her own and without me having to hold her again or rock her anymore. Again, I feel bad sometimes but I don't want to create that habit so I just go with it for now.
She is adorable! I know every mother thinks their kid is the cutest in the world and I'm no different but she is just so cute and has the most adorable facial expressions. She already has a "classic Piper" look (hard to explain) but I could just stare at her all day.
I LOVE being a mother and it was absolutely worth the 2ish years of trying, every single shot, pill, follie check and every single month of pain and disappointment. I'm so in love with this girl and it is amazing how much my world has changed having her in it.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Piper is here!
Piper Anne was born Saturday, October 29, 2011 at 5:23am. She weighed 9lbs4.5oz and was 21 inches long. I can’t believe she’s almost 2 weeks old!
I was scheduled to be induced at 12:15am Friday Oct 28th but the hospital called me late the night before and said not to come in then because they didn't have a room for me and they'd call when something opened up. Needless to say, that was one sleepless night. After calling to check on the status and getting a very firm "don't call us, we'll call you" type answer we got the phone call to come in at 8:45a Friday morning. We arrived at the hospital around 10 and the pitocin was started around 11am. For the hour I was hooked up to the monitor before the pitocin even started I was contracting every 2-4 minutes. Once the pitocin started things slowly got more painful but nothing unbearable. I labored from 11a until the doctor finally came to see me around 5:30pm. She said I was only 3 cm dilated (I walked in at 2 cm dilated). I was so disheartened. The pain was pretty bad at that point and I definitely thought I would have been further along. The OB broke my water when she checked me and there was clear fluid. Immediately after breaking my water the contractions got so intense. I knew I'd end up getting an epidural when they checked me because I couldn't imagine the pain at 9cm based on what I was feeling at 3cm. Because the pain got that much worse, that fast I got the epidural. That was a traumatic experience in itself. I was shaking uncontrollably and so uncomfortable. I just cried and cried through the entire thing and it definitely still hurt! It started working right away on my left side but I could still feel the contractions on the right. After changing positions a few times and waiting long enough for it to "kick in" the anest. decided to just re-do it. The second time was a lot less painful (since I was already numb) but my heartrate dropped dramatically and I almost passed out. They had to give me a shot of epiniphrine (adrenaline) to keep me from doing so. I didn't know that at the time and didn't realize how low my heartrate got. But, I got better immediately and the second time it worked! No more pain:)
I labored for what seemed like forever and each time I progressed faster than the doctors thought I would. I got to 9cm around 11pm that night. That’s when the epidural started to wear off and I got to experience back labor. Yeowsers! Thankfully we caught the anest. just in time to bump up the meds and I was blissfully pain free yet again:) When I got to 10cm they had me labor down for a few hours because she was still at -1 station. I basically sat vertically in bed from midnight until 3am. During that time Piper kept having heart decels which were concerning them. I was given an oxygen mask and we tried changing positions to see if that helped. Knowing now that it likely didn't, they just didn't tell me that. At 3am the doctor and nurse got me to start pushing. I was SO numb that I couldn't move my legs or feel the urge to push. With help I pushed and pushed for 1.5 hours. The whole time they kept a close eye on Piper's heart decels which hadn't seemed to let up. At that point she still had barely come down and during one of the pushes more fluid leaked out and showed that there was meconium in the fluid. Pretty quickly after that the doctors rushed in to discuss having a c-section. I didn't think it but DH told me that they were moving VERY quickly to get me into surgery. They had me in the room and her out within 15 minutes of determining I needed a c-section. Silly me just thought they were being efficient;)
The c-section was also not a fun experience. Throughout labor I would shake uncontrollably and it as no different during the c-section. I spent the majority of the time trying not to shake off the table and barely realized what was happening. I could still feel a tiny bit of what they were doing so I was given some other medicine that made me completely out of it. I heard her cry when she was delivered and DH followed her to get cleaned up. I felt so alone when they stitched me up. I wanted DH with Piper but it was such a weird experience. They finally brought Piper to me so I could see her and kiss her. Once they finally rolled me out into recovery I could hear them working on her (getting her vitals and stuff like that) and DH was taking pictures and trying to talk to me. I was so out of it I barely even looked at her. She as apparently rooting and sucking a ton and I just remember thinking "all I want to do is feed my baby girl but I can't stop shaking!" It was awful:(
We were in recovery for about an hour before getting sent up to the mother/baby unit. That's where I finally saw her clearly and got to hold her. Unfortunately in whatever position I was in, she was just too heavy for me to hold having just had surgery so I had to put her back down:( I don't really remember all the other details but I did get in a good enough position to hold her and the meds wore off shortly after so I could enjoy my time with her.
We spent 4 days at the hospital, had tons of visitors while there and finally got to go home Tuesday afternoon. The rest of the week has been filled with more visitors and trying to return to an altered version of "normal". Piper is amazing. My milk came in on day 2 and she's eating like a champ. She's so content when she isn't trying to eat (then she's a ravenous beast:P). Shes also pretty alert and I love the time of day when she's wide awake and completely content just looking around and enjoying the sights:)
I was scheduled to be induced at 12:15am Friday Oct 28th but the hospital called me late the night before and said not to come in then because they didn't have a room for me and they'd call when something opened up. Needless to say, that was one sleepless night. After calling to check on the status and getting a very firm "don't call us, we'll call you" type answer we got the phone call to come in at 8:45a Friday morning. We arrived at the hospital around 10 and the pitocin was started around 11am. For the hour I was hooked up to the monitor before the pitocin even started I was contracting every 2-4 minutes. Once the pitocin started things slowly got more painful but nothing unbearable. I labored from 11a until the doctor finally came to see me around 5:30pm. She said I was only 3 cm dilated (I walked in at 2 cm dilated). I was so disheartened. The pain was pretty bad at that point and I definitely thought I would have been further along. The OB broke my water when she checked me and there was clear fluid. Immediately after breaking my water the contractions got so intense. I knew I'd end up getting an epidural when they checked me because I couldn't imagine the pain at 9cm based on what I was feeling at 3cm. Because the pain got that much worse, that fast I got the epidural. That was a traumatic experience in itself. I was shaking uncontrollably and so uncomfortable. I just cried and cried through the entire thing and it definitely still hurt! It started working right away on my left side but I could still feel the contractions on the right. After changing positions a few times and waiting long enough for it to "kick in" the anest. decided to just re-do it. The second time was a lot less painful (since I was already numb) but my heartrate dropped dramatically and I almost passed out. They had to give me a shot of epiniphrine (adrenaline) to keep me from doing so. I didn't know that at the time and didn't realize how low my heartrate got. But, I got better immediately and the second time it worked! No more pain:)
I labored for what seemed like forever and each time I progressed faster than the doctors thought I would. I got to 9cm around 11pm that night. That’s when the epidural started to wear off and I got to experience back labor. Yeowsers! Thankfully we caught the anest. just in time to bump up the meds and I was blissfully pain free yet again:) When I got to 10cm they had me labor down for a few hours because she was still at -1 station. I basically sat vertically in bed from midnight until 3am. During that time Piper kept having heart decels which were concerning them. I was given an oxygen mask and we tried changing positions to see if that helped. Knowing now that it likely didn't, they just didn't tell me that. At 3am the doctor and nurse got me to start pushing. I was SO numb that I couldn't move my legs or feel the urge to push. With help I pushed and pushed for 1.5 hours. The whole time they kept a close eye on Piper's heart decels which hadn't seemed to let up. At that point she still had barely come down and during one of the pushes more fluid leaked out and showed that there was meconium in the fluid. Pretty quickly after that the doctors rushed in to discuss having a c-section. I didn't think it but DH told me that they were moving VERY quickly to get me into surgery. They had me in the room and her out within 15 minutes of determining I needed a c-section. Silly me just thought they were being efficient;)
The c-section was also not a fun experience. Throughout labor I would shake uncontrollably and it as no different during the c-section. I spent the majority of the time trying not to shake off the table and barely realized what was happening. I could still feel a tiny bit of what they were doing so I was given some other medicine that made me completely out of it. I heard her cry when she was delivered and DH followed her to get cleaned up. I felt so alone when they stitched me up. I wanted DH with Piper but it was such a weird experience. They finally brought Piper to me so I could see her and kiss her. Once they finally rolled me out into recovery I could hear them working on her (getting her vitals and stuff like that) and DH was taking pictures and trying to talk to me. I was so out of it I barely even looked at her. She as apparently rooting and sucking a ton and I just remember thinking "all I want to do is feed my baby girl but I can't stop shaking!" It was awful:(
We were in recovery for about an hour before getting sent up to the mother/baby unit. That's where I finally saw her clearly and got to hold her. Unfortunately in whatever position I was in, she was just too heavy for me to hold having just had surgery so I had to put her back down:( I don't really remember all the other details but I did get in a good enough position to hold her and the meds wore off shortly after so I could enjoy my time with her.
We spent 4 days at the hospital, had tons of visitors while there and finally got to go home Tuesday afternoon. The rest of the week has been filled with more visitors and trying to return to an altered version of "normal". Piper is amazing. My milk came in on day 2 and she's eating like a champ. She's so content when she isn't trying to eat (then she's a ravenous beast:P). Shes also pretty alert and I love the time of day when she's wide awake and completely content just looking around and enjoying the sights:)
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