Not this time

Had my beta yesterday for IUI #5 cycle. It was negative. Not really surprised. I had a sliver of hope because of the nausea, tiredness, starvation, hot flashes, etc from earlier in the week but that must all be from the Met. AF started today so I go in on Monday and I'm just praying I don't have any cysts. I'd like to do our final IUI cycle for this year in November and have our IVF consult sometime during that cycle. Then, if that cycle doesn't work, I'd like to start bcp in December so I can be ready to stim right away in January. Can you tell I don't want to waste time?

I haven't cried once since finding out that I didn't get pregnant this time and I don't think I will. I really feel so numb. It's just so routine at this point. It is insane how much medicine I've injected (or swallowed or inserted) into my body in the past year. It's insane how much I have to take again this cycle and if I have to do IVF, the box of meds that's going to arrive on my doorstep scares me. Honestly, I can't wait to just do IVF but the PIO shots scare the hell out of me:P I'm used to the nightly shots in my stomach and pills and suppositories and visits to the RE for U/S and B/W but the PIO shots scare me since I hear they hurt like crazy and your butt is bruised like crazy:P Hopefully I won't have to deal with all that though. This next IUI should work right?? Maybe, possibly, hopefully...

Will I Ever get to see those 2 lines??

This is what I saw this morning at 12dpiui. I'm pretty positive IUI #5 was a bust:( My beta is on Friday and I'll get my official nail for the coffin then but I already know what to expect. With all the "symptoms" I've been having the past few days I was actually hopeful. Silly me. I haven't cried, or even let it phase me this time. I'm just ready to start the next cycle. We have one left before a break in December and then IVF in January. I'm going to make an appointment sometime in November for an IVF consult. J couldn't be more ready for IVF either. We're both sick of disappointment and doing the same thing over and over.

That said, hopefully adding met will actually do something good for me and I'll get pregnant next cycle. I upped the dose to 1500mg last night. Hasn't been too bad but I woke up sweating and I didn't even have the covers on me! It's weird to have to take a cold shower during the fall! I slept horribly; woke up about every 2 hours last night. I think that mainly had to do with how excited I was to POAS. I told myself I wasn't going to do it until I was supposed to get up for work because I knew that if it was positive and I did it at 3am I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. While the excitement and amazement of it would have been awesome, I wouldn't have made it through my work day in one piece with only a few hours of sleep:P So when I could finally get up at 6am I POAS and then took a shower. Felt 100% better once I was cooled off. Saw nothing and continued on with my day like the fact that I've been trying to have a baby for 18 months is completely normal and the reality of having yet another cycle full of blood draws, ultrasounds and countless injections is just what people do to get pregnant.

Now I get to wait for AF and PRAY PRAY PRAY for no cysts on day 3. Here we go again...

Bleck!

I feel like I'm going to puke! And I've felt that way for a good 2 days (including today). Eating helps and I haven't actually gotten sick but this feeling is awful! I think the met is doing a great job of kicking my butt and it's not even too bad compared to the stories I've heard from other people. I can eat whatever I want and last week I was STARVING all the time. I definitely didn't lose 5lbs:P I'm supposed to up my dosage again tomorrow night to 1500mg. I'm a little worried about how that's going to make me feel:( I thought I was doing so well!

Today is 10dpo. I don't have any symptoms unless you count being tired ALL THE TIME and being starving/nauseous symptoms (which I don't cause I think it's all the met). I don't really have a desire to test either. I am going to test on Wednesday at 12dpo and that's it (unless it's positive and then I'll be peeing on everything;))

It would be awesome to get pregnant this time and I feel like everything was "right" this time but I don't want to be too hopeful. Too much of a let down otherwise.

So here's hoping that all these met side effects are actually pregnancy symptoms!;)

Already in the 2ww

My 5th IUI was last Friday, so I'm 4dpiui today! This cycle went by in the blink of an eye. I had my IUI less than 2 weeks from my beta last cycle. I triggered Wednesday night. That morning I had a 22mm follie and a couple at 12.4mm. My estrogen was up to 271! Pretty excited about that:) The IUI was fine. A little more painful than usual and had some cramping afterward but it wasn't too bad. J's sample was ok... 13mil and 78% motility... the progression was better this time too. So... I'm hopeful.

I started taking Metformin last week as well. I know it won't do much of anything for this cycle but if this cycle doesn't work, maybe it will do something for the next one. I'm starting 1000mg dose tonight. I've been at 500mg without any side effects so I'm hoping the next step up won't have any either.

So... if this cycle works, which I pray it will... I can tell everyone around Xmas (though family and close friends would be before that). And I'd be due July 8 2011:)

Please Please Please let it work this time!! we only have 1 IUI left:(

Speedy Cycle!

This cycle has flown by! I went in for my first follie check yesterday (day 6) and I already had a follie at 16mm! I was told to double my dose last night and come in again today. When I went in today it was up to 19mm:) I had a couple other ones but the largest was only 13mm so I think I'm only ending up with one follie this cycle. I got the call this afternoon to do another double dose tonight and then come back in tomorrow morning. My estrogen level was up to 251 today which is awesome. Usually my estrogen is pretty low so I'm happy to see it this high.

Not sure what's in store for tomorrow. I'm assuming I'll trigger tomorrow night for an IUI on Friday (or Thursday if I'm already ovulating). Either way... One quick cycle!

The blessing or curse of this cycle is that I'll know if I'm pregnant by the time Halloween comes around. We're going to a pumpkin carving party as well as to a friends house for trick or treating and I'll be surrounded by adorable kids the entire weekend (ranging from 5 months to 3 years). I'm hoping I'll be pregnant and not have to deal with the feelings of being the only couple there that STILL doesn't have kids... and if I'm not, I hope I can just push that aside and enjoy the weekend.

Fingers crossed!:)

Long time no blog...

Sorry it's been so long since I updated! Well last cycle was a bust. I wasn't too surprised and took it pretty well. 2 days after my beta AF showed up so that was nice since I didn't have to wait too long to get things going again. I went in last Friday for my baseline check and thankfully I didn't have any cysts! It's weird to just be able to start the next cycle right away. I'm so used to delays and forced breaks that it's nice to just keep moving along. The plan is the same for this cycle. Bravelle, Ovidrel, IUI #5, progesterone. Tomorrow is my first follie check after taking Bravelle for 3 nights. Hopefully I have some growing:) Fingers crossed that things go smoothly this cycle.

After getting a negative Beta I was talking to (emailing) a friend about it all and how I just don't understand why this hasn't worked yet. She suggested looking into starting Metformin and possibly doing lap surgery to see if there's anything wrong with my ute or tubes that didn't show up on the HSG. My doctor didn't prescribe metformin initially because I'm not insulin resistant and I responded to clomid. But, since I haven't gotten pregnant yet, I brought it up with him to see if it was worth trying now. He said that it doesn't hurt anything to try so I'm going to see if it does anything. I just want to feel like I'm doing everything possible. I'm not looking forward to the nasty side effects but I'm hoping to lose some weight! As for the lap surgery, I think its a good idea and hate the unknown but at this point J and I aren't willing to have a break cycle for it. We have 2 IUI's left for this year before we switch insurance plans next year. If either of these last 2 IUI's don't work, we'll discuss doing the lap with RE during December since we can't do any treatments that month anyway. Hopefully we won't need to go there though:)

I'll try to be better about updating. September was a crazy busy month for us though. I'm LOVING this fall weather and am looking forward to the Halloween festivities planned... though it will be kid filled which may turn out to be tough to handle if I get BFN this cycle (if I have IUI when I think I will, I'll get beta right around Halloween). Hopefully I'll have great news though!