Beta #2

Came back at 1153! Doubling time of 53ish hours which is perfectly in the "normal" range (anything from 48-72 hours is normal). I go in for my last beta on Wednesday and then sometime next week I'll have my first ultrasound! Praying for a super high number Wednesday!

Keep having to pinch myself... this is all so surreal. I'm loving it though and will continue to love it for another 35 weeks (give or take whenever Blasty decides to come into the world;))

Beta day!

Friday was beta day. The day I'd FINALLY get validation that this was all really happening. I was no longer convinced this could be the trigger shot because not only was the line still showing up, it was getting darker. AND there's no way the trigger was still in my system. I went in to my RE's office and the tech drew my blood. She wished me look and I just smiled and quietly said "it's good news!" She told me I cheated and I explained that I don't know how they expect neurotic women who have been trying for just shy of 2 years to wait until 13DP5DT! She laughed and congratulated me.

I worked from home that day and kept my phone attached to my hip. I wanted to actually talk to the nurse in case they didn't actually leave the beta number on a message. She finally called around 1:30p and said I was definitely pregnant! Beta came back at 448!!! Fantastic starting number but the important thing is that it's doubling so I go back in on Monday (Feb 28th) to get the 2nd beta done. I'm anxious to get that number back and anxious to find out when I get to have my first u/s! It's starting to get more real but I'm still in disbelief and still so scared that my world is going to drop from under me and I'll have a miscarriage.

I've been eating better and of course take all my medicine (did that before too). I rest a lot and just try to take it easy:)

On Tuesday J did the sweetest thing! We had a meeting with our financial planner but we went to have dinner first, which happened to be right next to the Babies R Us near us. I had thought about asking to see if we could go there but decided not to since I didn't want to overwhelm him baby stuff when it wasn't even for sure I was pregnant. Well while we were sitting at dinner he asked if I wanted stop by BRU before going to our meeting. I may have teared up and of course said yes. It was such a different experience to go there knowing that in 9 months our house would be filled with all that stuff and that I could look for myself, not just for friends. We looked around and I was excited to find the city mini stroller out on display. I had seen it online and loved it and loved that it had good reviews. I told J about it a few weeks ago and he was just like we'll see when the time comes. Well that night we took it off the display shelf and played around with it. I LOVED it and J did too. He said " found our stroller!". I'm sure we'll do some more researching when we get to that point but for now we know what we're getting. Then we went over to the bedding section and to my surprise the bedding I fell in love with (and posted about earlier) was on display! I loved it in person just as much. J really liked it to but decided it was too boyish so if we have a girl, we'll have to find something else (oh darn, more nursery searching;)) We left shortly after that but I just couldn't help but be the happiest girl in the world:)

On Saturday I went and bought 2 belly bands. This bloat is RIDICULOUS and barely any of my work pants fit. Hopefully these pants will help do the trick until I actually need maternity pants. Looking forward to being comfortable at work again:P

Hi my name is Megan and I'm a POASaholic!

I called my nurse Monday morning to share the fantastic news that I had gotten a +HPT both Saturday and Sunday and wanted to see if I could come in earlier for the beta. She was very happy for me but said that it could still be the trigger shot (cue minor freak out === what if she's right?!?!) and she said they wanted to make sure there was enough HCG in my system to have a positive beta. So as I suspected, I'd be waiting the ENTIRE week before getting the beta done. My only consolation was that I had tons of pee sticks and I planned to take one each morning until my beta. Each day the line got darker until Thursday when it was finally darker than the control line. Friday morning, the morning of my beta, I took a digital and for the first time I got to see the word "pregnant" WITHOUT it saying NOT in front of it! I knew it would say that but it was still pretty awesome. After the beta I decided to stop peeing on things. It was real enough and even if the beta didn't double it would still be high enough to make 2 lines show up so it was no longer a good indicator of whether or not I was actually pregnant:P

I made a couple baby related purchases during the week. 1: more pee sticks, 2: What to expect when you're expecting and Belly Laughs books. I can't wait to start reading them and learning everything there is to learn about this pregnancy. Any other good pregnancy book recommendations?

The day my life changed forever!

I took a FRER test on Saturday February 19, 2011 when I was 7dp5dt. I sat on the toilet trying not to stare at it. It was taking FOREVER to even start working so I freaked out that I didn't pee on it long enough:P Finallly it started to work. The control line came up and I sat there and prayed and prayed that I'd get to see that second pink line. Well, God finally answered my prayers. That second pink line popped up and I just sat there in shock for a minute. With a huge grin on my face:) I went in and told J "I'm having your baby" and showed him the test. I was so proud and SO happy. We hugged and cried and then snuggled the rest of the morning. It was way more anti-climatic than I expected but I didn't want to get my hopes up too much just in case. But, I couldn't help myself from daydreaming about what the next 9 months would be like. It was the best day! We spent the day running errands and J was so cute! We had a friends son's 1st birthday party that afternoon to go to so we went to Babies R Us and J told me to park in the expectant mothers spot. I didn't since it was still so new and since I wanted to save it for mothers who were a lot further along than me, but it was such an awesome thought that the coveted parking spot is now available to ME! Then when we were checking out the cashier asked us if we wanted sign up for the Babies R Us rewards program. Without a second thought J said yes! It just makes me so happy that he's excited and this day has finally come.

We still have many hurdles to jump, not the first of which is getting that beta number back. I was hoping I'd be able to go in early since it wasn't scheduled until I was 13dp5dt. That was SOOO far away and I just knew the week would drag on and on but since I had already gotten to see those 2 pink lines, maybe they'd let me come in sooner. I did the math over and over and convinced myself it couldn't be trigger shot from 14 days prior.

Introducing Blasty!

I just got home from my ET and everything went well. I got there at 11:30 (I was antsy) and didn't get put into a room until 12:15. Then I had to wait another 1/2 hour for the doctor to come in. LONGEST WAIT EVER! Once the doctor came in she went over the fertilization report and confirmed how many we wanted to transfer. I didn't know it (and it doesn't matter) but 1 of the eggs were fertilized by 2 sperm so that one got thrown out and then 2 others just didn't fertilize.

She said that my embryo's win the award for the best looking of the day!:) I have 5 in the blastocyst stage right now and a few more that are in the pre-blastocyst stage. They all look great and the one we're transferred is grade 1 AA which is as good as it gets! I'm so excited:)

The procedure itself wasn't exactly fun but it was cool because they did an ultrasound on my stomach (yay for no dildo cam!), and I got to see everything as it happened. I could actually see the embryo come off the catheter. CRAZY COOL! After it was all done the embryologist gave me a picture of blasty in a nice keepsake album thing. Baby's first picture:P

So now it's bed rest time till Sunday night (few extra hours for good measure:)). Snuggle in tight little embie. You've got a long journey ahead of you!

ET Scheduled

Tomorrow is my transfer. It's scheduled for 12:15p but I have to be there at 11:45a with a full bladder. I can.not.believe that by 1pm TOMORROW!!! I will be PUPO!!!!!! (Pregnant until proven otherwise). I know the beautiful little embie still has to stick and it's not a guarantee but this is the closest I'll have ever been to being pregnant. It's SUCH a weird feeling to know that tomorrow I'll have a life growing inside me. I hope and pray that life chooses to stick around for a VERY long time but even if it doesn't work out, tomorrow I'll have a life growing inside me. Whoa!

I mean seriously... WHOA!

I plan to go to my appt and then come home and vegg out on the couch (actually more likely my bed) and do nothing the rest of the weekend. I want that beautiful little embie have the best time possible snuggling in. My lining was pretty thick the last time they measured it and with taking those damn progesterone suppositories and estridol I should hope its nice and cozy in there:)

Holy Frick! We're almost there... so close and yet SO far. The next week or so is going to KILL me. I'm seriously not going to be able to concentrate on anything! I wish I was going to be busier at work so that I wouldn't have time to daydream but that's not the case. I'll be busy Monday and Wednesday but Tuesday I'll have most of the day to daydream, I mean write reports, and the same goes for Thursday.

Hope and Pray that embie chooses to stick around!:)

I know... you're sick of these posts...

But I have to document it! My doctor called this morning and he said he was very happy to report that all 16 of my embies are still growing and dividing. AND 15 of the 16 are grade 1. What's grade 1? It's how they rate PERFECT!

I'm already such a proud mom:P

I can't concentrate on anything these days. I just keep waiting for the next day for the update call:) Tomorrow I should be getting a call to schedule the transfer on Saturday and hopefully my doctor will call with more good news.


Also, when can I start testing? I've read some people got their BFP's as early as 7dp5dt! I bought a 3 pack of tests tonight and I think I'm going to start testing next Saturday. But, I have to find out when my beta is first to decide when to start testing. J doesn't really want me to test early but I've explained my "let me down easy" need. That and my extreme impatience:P

So ready to get that baby in mah belleh!;)

And, for your viewing pleasure-- another picture. This is what my embies should look like today:) (again, not a picture of mine but one from the interwebs)

Embryo Update!

I got a call today to let me know how my 16 embryo's are doing:) All is well! Here are the stats:
1- 2 cell
1- 3 cell
13- 4 cell
1- 5 cell

So we're doing a 5 day transfer at this point which will be on Saturday. The nurse briefly mentioned that if things were still looking good they might even push it back to a 6 day transfer:) YAY!!

I'm not sure if I'll get another call tomorrow (or each day until Saturday) to let me know how they're doing but if not, I might be calling them. I'm so proud and happy that they're all doing so well. I have my momentary freak outs but things are looking good. So for now, I'm happy. For now, I'm content:)

Here's what a majority of my embies look like right now! They didn't mention anything about fragmentation so I'm taking that as no news is good news for right now.

(NOTE: THIS IS A PICTURE I FOUND ONLINE-- NOT A PICTURE OF ONE OF MINE)

Fertilization Report!!

Shortly after making my last post my nurse called with my fertilization report. I'm SO excited! So here's the good news...

19 eggs retrieved
19 eggs mature!
16 EMBRYOS!!!!

I find out tomorrow how they're growing and whether we're going to do a 3 or 5 day transfer. Such a relief! Praying those embies are growing big and strong:)

Egg Retrieval 1.0 and 2.0

So why do things once when you can do them twice?? That apparently is my body's motto. Last Thursday I was SO excited because I triggered that night for my ER on Saturday. We got up at 4:15am on Saturday and drove to Rockville. Got there shortly before 6am and got hooked up to the IV. My doctor briefly met with me before we went in and then the next thing I know I'm back in my "room" waking up from anesthesia. I was so anxious to hear how many eggs so when my doctor came to tell me I was ecstatic. That was until he said "Well, we got 0 eggs." I immediately started crying. He explained that the lupron trigger shot I took thursday night didn't work. He said that it's somewhat common so they just want me to re-trigger with an HCG trigger that night and come back in for the next ER on Monday. So we went to the pharmacy, got my vicodin and trigger and headed home. I was so devastated and of course had all the fears in the world that Monday's retrieval wouldn't work either and that the follicles would be too big. I was in a lot of pain, way more than the cyst aspiration and felt nauseous. On our drive home I had J pull over just in time for me to open the door and get sick. When we got home I just went to sleep and slept for most of the day.

Every fear in the world ran through my mind and it was such a BAD day. I went in Sunday morning for an ultrasound and the looks of pity from my nurse just made me cringe. I had a ton of follicles and a lot that we're pretty big. My fear was that they were still too big and just couldn't wait to get the next ER over with. The pain subsided some on Sunday but I still had to take it easy or would start to feel weak. We took it easy most of the day and cleaned the house. Then had some friends over to watch the Superbowl. That helped keep my mind off things but I was surrounded by cute kids all night! Just made me want this to work even more.

Monday morning we got up at 4am again and headed to Rockville. We eventually got into our "room" and hooked up to the IV. My vein in my left arm is a mess from being poked almost daily for 11 days straight but the anesthesiologist tried it anyway. After digging around a bit he decided to try somewhere else. OUCH! He decided to use a vein in my hand. That hurt continuously and is still really sore. If at all possible I'll never have an IV in my hand again. So I went back for the ER and tried to put my fears aside. I eventually came too and was in A LOT of pain. It hurt even worse than the first time but I was given an extra dose of phentenol which helped. The nurse told us they got 19 eggs!!!! I started crying but they were tears of joy and relief. I know that all those eggs won't be good but our odds of getting 1 good one out of that are pretty good:)

So here I sit waiting for the fertilization report. Despite having 1 hurdle jumped, this phone call is the next hurdle. I'm so stressed about hearing good news and keep having thoughts that none of the eggs fertilized or were good. I go back and forth between good and bad thoughts. I just need them to call. I got very little sleep last night and the sleep I did get was filled with dreams about the phone call. EEEEK!

If things look good, we'll do a 5 day transfer on Saturday. If things don't look as good I'll have to go back in on Thursday. I'm praying we get to do a 5 day transfer. So ready for all this to be done and for me to see those 2 pink lines already!!

Another Comparison

Below is a picture of the 3 shots I've done for this IVF cycle. The yellow one is the one I've been doing for the past 11 days for the mixture of Brav.elle and Meno.pur. The grey one is the one for cetrotide that I've done for the past 5 days. Tonight's lupron trigger is the orange one. MUCH to my surprise, that one hurt the least. I had a mini panic attack, watched the video over and over and even snapped at J when he told me it was 6:58 and I just needed to get it ready. I was ready to bite the pillow and scream my head off. J did it quickly and seriously I barely felt it. It was a little sore afterward and has a tiny welt but still way better than the other 2 shots!



So I get to trigger tonight, if that wasn't already obvious:) I went in this morning for my last monitoring appointment and I have about 10 mature follicles with a few more that could catch up! Because of my estrogen level (which was up to 2800 something) they are having me trigger tonight instead of letting me go another day. So my EGG RETRIEVAL (yay!!) is scheduled for saturday morning at 7am! We have to be at the office at 6am and we live 1.5 hours from the doctors office where I'm having it done:( Early morning for a Saturday! Keep your fingers crossed that they get at least all 10 that they saw this morning.

I have to go in tomorrow to get bloodwork done to make sure the trigger worked. There's a higher chance of it not working (about 5%) so they just want to be sure it did its job. Then ER saturday, rest (and superbowl party Sunday) then on either Tuesday or Thursday I'll have the ET. Monday I get the fert report and I'm going to be going crazy waiting for it! Thankfully I'll have the party to somewhat distract me:)

YAY!!!

No Good Very Bad IF Day!

So this feeling just kind of crept up on me today. This feeling that I'm going through all this for nothing. That because I have PCOS, this isn't going to work.

This morning I had another monitoring appointment. One of the doctors at the office did the ultrasound (and took FOREVER). I have 10 follicles on the right ranging from 11mm-16mm and about 7 on the left in the same range. He said that I'd probably have another day or two of stims before triggering. He said something about my ovaries themselves not looking like they were ready yet either. I have no idea what that means.

Well I was stupid and consulted Dr. Google today because I was concerned about the jump in my E2 levels. It went from 271 to 1106 over 2 days. Today it jumped up to 1650. I read that with a quick jump like that it could mean that egg quality is compromised. I'm already worried about my egg quality and the number of mature eggs we actually get because of PCOS. Then there's the concern of OHSS. My doctor is very concerned about that and while I feel fine and my E2 level isn't outrageous for this point in my cycle, it scares me.

Then I went to Chic Fil A for dinner on my way home. J is bowling tonight and I was starving (not eating lunch will do that to a girl) so I just stopped quickly to get something to eat but didn't feel like eating in the car. So I went in. BIG mistake. I walked in and the place was packed. Like barely any tables available. And there were kids EVERYWHERE. It must have been kids night and birthday night. I was 1 of like 4 people there that didn't have a kid and I wish that was an exaggeration. I spent the entire time listening to kids and seeing babies and trying to ignore it all. Normally I'm fine and like people watching and seeing kids play with each other but it was just NOT what I needed tonight.

I NEED this cycle to work.