Will I Ever get to see those 2 lines??

This is what I saw this morning at 12dpiui. I'm pretty positive IUI #5 was a bust:( My beta is on Friday and I'll get my official nail for the coffin then but I already know what to expect. With all the "symptoms" I've been having the past few days I was actually hopeful. Silly me. I haven't cried, or even let it phase me this time. I'm just ready to start the next cycle. We have one left before a break in December and then IVF in January. I'm going to make an appointment sometime in November for an IVF consult. J couldn't be more ready for IVF either. We're both sick of disappointment and doing the same thing over and over.

That said, hopefully adding met will actually do something good for me and I'll get pregnant next cycle. I upped the dose to 1500mg last night. Hasn't been too bad but I woke up sweating and I didn't even have the covers on me! It's weird to have to take a cold shower during the fall! I slept horribly; woke up about every 2 hours last night. I think that mainly had to do with how excited I was to POAS. I told myself I wasn't going to do it until I was supposed to get up for work because I knew that if it was positive and I did it at 3am I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. While the excitement and amazement of it would have been awesome, I wouldn't have made it through my work day in one piece with only a few hours of sleep:P So when I could finally get up at 6am I POAS and then took a shower. Felt 100% better once I was cooled off. Saw nothing and continued on with my day like the fact that I've been trying to have a baby for 18 months is completely normal and the reality of having yet another cycle full of blood draws, ultrasounds and countless injections is just what people do to get pregnant.

Now I get to wait for AF and PRAY PRAY PRAY for no cysts on day 3. Here we go again...