No Good Very Bad IF Day!

So this feeling just kind of crept up on me today. This feeling that I'm going through all this for nothing. That because I have PCOS, this isn't going to work.

This morning I had another monitoring appointment. One of the doctors at the office did the ultrasound (and took FOREVER). I have 10 follicles on the right ranging from 11mm-16mm and about 7 on the left in the same range. He said that I'd probably have another day or two of stims before triggering. He said something about my ovaries themselves not looking like they were ready yet either. I have no idea what that means.

Well I was stupid and consulted Dr. Google today because I was concerned about the jump in my E2 levels. It went from 271 to 1106 over 2 days. Today it jumped up to 1650. I read that with a quick jump like that it could mean that egg quality is compromised. I'm already worried about my egg quality and the number of mature eggs we actually get because of PCOS. Then there's the concern of OHSS. My doctor is very concerned about that and while I feel fine and my E2 level isn't outrageous for this point in my cycle, it scares me.

Then I went to Chic Fil A for dinner on my way home. J is bowling tonight and I was starving (not eating lunch will do that to a girl) so I just stopped quickly to get something to eat but didn't feel like eating in the car. So I went in. BIG mistake. I walked in and the place was packed. Like barely any tables available. And there were kids EVERYWHERE. It must have been kids night and birthday night. I was 1 of like 4 people there that didn't have a kid and I wish that was an exaggeration. I spent the entire time listening to kids and seeing babies and trying to ignore it all. Normally I'm fine and like people watching and seeing kids play with each other but it was just NOT what I needed tonight.

I NEED this cycle to work.