What a clusterfvck!

As someone on the bump put it today, my cycle this time has been quite the clusterfvck. I'm going in for my 5th monitoring appt (7th appt since June 14th) tomorrow morning. I took 50mg clomid for days 3-7 and when I went in on CD 9 there were no measurable follicles yet. I went in twice more and finally had a couple around 10mm. I was told to start taking 75iu of Bravelle for 2 nights and then come back in. Did that and the follies grew a little, but not much. Did another 75iu last night. Went in today and the RE said that we're walking a fine line of what we want my follicles to do. We don't want too many to grow but we want a few so the med balance is important. He actually said I would be a really good candidate for IVF because I have 5 follicles all around the same size (ranging from 14mm to 11mm). 5 is too many to trigger and do the IUI because of the chance of multiples.

So I left the appt this morning with the RE telling me that he might have me 1/2 the dose of bravelle and to continue to take it another 3-4 nights. This afternoon I get a call from my nurse and she said that based on my LH level I might actually be starting to ovulate on my own:( She said to do a double dose of bravelle tonight and go back in tomorrow.

UGH. I wish my body would just do what it's supposed to do WHEN it's supposed to do it. I don't even know what to hope for anymore. If I wish for my follicles to grow, too many grow. If I wish for some to stop growing, they all stop growing. If I wish for the IUI to be in a couple days, it's put off a full week, and now longer. If I wish for the IUI to be further off, my body starts to ovulate on it's own.

Oh, and the Bravelle has been "fun" I did enjoy mixing the bravelle powder with sodium chloride the first night but the shot, OUCH. It burned for a good 20 minutes afterward. I'm a pro at it now but it still hurts... a lot. Luckily J gives it to me. I know I could if I had to but it takes away the anxiety of seeing the needle go in my skin.

Here is a picture of the fun!