Break Cycle Hell

I'm stuck in limbo but I'm already in my 2nd of 3 weeks of BCP's. The beginning of last week sucked and I just felt depressed and like I didn't want to do anything. As the week went on it got a little better and I'm doing MUCH better now. Still irritated but I've been busy and trying to focus on other things so that helps.

Ironically, one of the things that I've been "distracted" by was the birth of my 2nd cousin. She was born last Thursday so I went to visit her in the hospital, then visited with them on Saturday and then again today. I spent part of today shopping with my cousin to get props so I can do a newborn photo shoot for them next week. Holding that sweet baby girl has been surprisingly comforting. I'm not nearly as jealous or neurotic as I expected to be and I absolutely love being around my cousin and her little girl. I changed the baby today and my aunt commented on how "natural" motherhood came to me. Not the first time I've heard that and it just makes me excited for the day when I actually become a mother myself.

Other than that, I've been in last minute planning stages for my best friends bachelorette party next weekend. I'm now excited to be able to drink as much as I want that weekend. I don't have to worry about awkwardly explaining why I'm not drinking and I don't have to worry about giving myself shots or anything like that that weekend.

I'm excited for next month as well. I feel like it's going to fly by and luckily (as long as all is well at my baseline appt) I'll be able to do the IUI without it interfering with anything. The best part is that I'll have so much going on that the 2ww will be full of distractions! Just have to get there first! I have so many things to look forward to next month! Bachelorette party, visit to OH to visit a lifelong friend, Baby shower (actually excited since I'll get to see family I haven't seen in forever), Best friends wedding, BEACH for a week in OBX!! Awesomeness:)

Oh! And I talked to J about changing our medical coverage for next year. Currently our insurance doesn't cover IVF but I read on J's company's website that they cover 4 IVF rounds. We have to wait until October to see what our medical insurance options are and I'm praying that we find one that actually does cover IVF. Well in talking to J tonight, he's very confident that one will, it's just a matter of signing up for it. That makes me feel MUCH better about this whole thing. I'm semi-confident that one of the next 3 IUI's will work BUT if they don't, knowing that insurance covers IVF will make me a little less upset. Also, if the timing works out, I probably won't have to wait for the insurance to kick in since the IUI cycles/birth control cycle for IVF would fill up the next few months. I'd love to not have to use that but it would be nice to not worry about it.

I apologize if I don't post much in the next couple weeks. I've been pretty busy and with being on BCP there isn't much to update. Hope everyone is doing great and I just want to give a shoutout to all the ladies on the Bump that have gotten their BFP's this month!! Congrats ladies:)