Forced Break cycle

I had my baseline ultrasound on Monday morning. I was so excited to get the next cycle started and loved that I only waited 1 day for AF to show up. September is going to be crazy busy for us so I was excited to get one more cycle in before all the chaos.

I went in, the tech stuck the dildo cam up my vag and I saw it. I saw a glimpse of it. My heart sank as she found my ute and measured my lining. Then, she moved the cam slightly to the right and there it was. Another HUGE freaking cyst (this time its 4cm x 4cm). I know what that means and my pissed off at the worldness gets worse. She tries to comfort me and then prints out pictures of the cyst to show the doctor. When I walk out of the room he says "Well there's good news and bad news. The good news is that this means you ovulated and you ovulated well. The bad news is that not every ovulation results in a pregnancy (no shit sherlock) and that you'll need to take a cycle off so the cyst will shrink" I already knew the bad news part and honestly, the "good" news part didn't make me feel any better. I still didn't get pregnant and to make things worse, it resulted in me NOT getting pregnant this month either. He put me on birth control for 3 weeks and told me to come back in when AF shows up again. I held it together as the nurse gave me the prescription and as all the ladies waiting for u/s stared at me wondering why I was so upset. I held it together as I paid my copay. I held it together as I walked to my car. The minute I got into my car I broke down in tears. I couldn't stop. I cried on and off the entire way to work. I stopped crying long enough to call J and let him know the news but got off the phone pretty quickly because I was going to start crying again. When I got into work I would tear up almost every time I said something out-loud. It's really hard NOT to think about so I'd cry any time I thought about it (which was a lot). I told a couple friends and they were amazing. SO supportive and frustrated right along with me. I'm so thankful that I have people I can share this journey with. I cried because of their amazing support:(

As the day went on I tried to stop crying and to think of the positives of the situation. Originally I was freaking out that we'd have to take September off too since we're going to be out of town 3 out of the 4 weekends in September. Luckily, after pouring over my calendar, it should work. I just hope my body keeps things moving at a quick pace (IUI anywhere between CD 10-17 would be perfect). So I was happy about that. Over Labor Day weekend I'm going to OC for my best friends bachelorette party. If we had proceeded with this cycle I would have been in my 2ww and wouldn't be drinking. That would have been pretty tricky to explain and not something I was looking forward to dealing with. That said, I would have LOVED to have had to deal with it. Instead, I can drink as much as I want and it won't matter. There's not even a minuscule chance that I'd be pregnant that weekend. So... bring on the liquor!

Now I'm 2 pills into my 3 weeks of pills and while I'm not any happier about the situation, I don't cry about it anymore. This whole process has been so emotionally draining and to have set backs like this makes it even worse. I hate "sitting on the bench" more than anything and that's what I'll be doing for the next 3 weeks:( UGH.